4/11/2023

rus: my bad if this is a mess, its late.. keeping this short though. i just want to leave a comment on how much i appreciate your works about arthur. they've actually made me appreciate the original film more, funnily enough…

something about the themes you explore and how raw and vulnerable it all is just appeals to me in a way that i never expected it would... it feels lame to say but they make me feel seen. thats probably not a good thing, but its whatever. youre honestly kind of an inspiration and i hope that one day i myself could possibly create a collection of works as fascinating and beautiful as yours. i love everything about them, really. the art... the writing... the marbles... the journal entries... ESPECIALLY the journal entries. you have such a fantastic arthur voice and capture his entry style so well. (i think im just rambling now.) i really hope you have a fantastic day/evening/night…

I am so happy you decided to send me a message, this was very touching.

It makes me happy to hear that vulnerability resonates with you. It is so difficult to be vulnerable, but it has its rewards (including attracting perceptive people like yourself). Thank you for complimenting the journal entries, a few of them are some of my favorite pieces I’ve ever made. I never expect anyone to read them, but putting them out there has been extremely cathartic and I am glad they helped you in some way.

I want to assure you that your natural emotional reaction to art is not embarrassing or pathetic. Feeling seen and understood by art is very human. Being able to dissect and examine your response is also part of developing your taste and, in turn, strengthening your own work. I encourage you to engage fully and openly with all kinds of art! I know that we tend to devalue emotional connection, but being able to both feel and understand your emotions when looking at a piece is a great skill to have. Please allow yourself to feel, no matter what the art you’re engaging with is.

Thank you again, sincerely, and I hope that you continue making work in the future.

4/11/2023

ick: hello, and sorry if this gets too long! i have admired your work for many years. when i first found this account i at first was just glad to rediscover your art after losing track of it for a long time, but the more i've seen of your art, writing and thoughts about your current passions, reconnecting to your work has become even more special to me. i'm not sure i have seen many other people who think about & feel such a deep connection to the things they love the way I do and certainly not as many who are as candid about it as you are, so feeling understood in this way at all & by one of my favorite artists makes me feel very very lucky.

i hope this isn't something unpleasant to bring up, but a thought of yours i read on your tumblr that particularly stuck with me was a tumblr post where you describe feeling guilt and internalized shame about your love for Arthur.

I often feel like I have to fight to feel like I am allowed to have these feelings and fantasies regarding my devotions even in the privacy of my own mind, or that I am doing something wrong even though i rationally believe they are harmless. I've seen people describe this level of passion but i dont think i have seen anyone else describing the times when feeling this way and allowing yourself to give into it isn't easy. Seeing you say that these feelings of love shouldn't be turned into a form of self punishment feels like it truly made something click for me.

Thank you for sharing all of these things. I hope that you will continue to be kind to yourself.

This was so wonderful to read, thank you for sending it! I’m always very surprised to hear that people have kept up with me for so long. I feel as if I am something of a ghost, unmemorable and ephemeral, so to be told I am remembered can feel odd (but not bad).

There are a few things I consider both important to share and impossible not to share, and having devotions is one. I spent many years thinking I should be ashamed and that I should hide, and it never brought me anything but misery (and the feelings came out regardless coated in self-hating irony). Sincerity is very important to me, and I think I would like others to see that it is okay to share sincerity, that people do want to engage with it. But it is a complex thing to share because there is an instilled social shame that is not easy to shed.

Among people with these habits there seems to be a bit of a belief that it is inappropriate to admit to feeling shame or having difficulty accepting one’s devotion or obsession. It is no secret that these are widely considered strange behaviors that are subject to disdain and mockery, and it can feel like the only way to combat that is to present a consistent front of positivity. But that is simply not the truth of the experience for many, and it can be quite isolating to exist in a space where you’re expected to ignore certain truths for the good of the group.

That what I wrote resonated with you makes me so happy, I was nervous to share it for the exact reasons I mentioned above. I had written it out months ago and simply never posted it. But I am glad now that I did decide to share. Teasing out the truth of things involves admitting to vulnerabilities, and it is the case here as well… Thank you for sharing your own vulnerabilities with me, and I hope you also keep a kindness for yourself in your heart!

4/11/2023

hi: id like to send a big hug your way. not sure if youre okay with physical contact, but the intention is to show you affection. my day gets a little brighter when you appear on my timeline and i check your profile to make sure i havent missed any of your posts. lotsa love from méxico !

I actually loved being hugged! The pressure, the warmth, the idea that someone cared enough to offer an embrace - all of this is good to me. Thank you so much for the message, I appreciate it immensely. Please have a wonderful day!

3/11/2023

d: ive been following you since you first created this account. i was looking for old pictures on my cloud and your art was there: october or november 2019. i hope you dont mind this, but i have printed some of it out and its on my walls and notebooks. all of your art is a huge inspiration to me; your drawings, illustrations and doodles, journal entries, writings and rambles; all of it, even the marble pictures though i dont understand them. i guess i have kind of a parasocial relationship with you. i feel like i know you. but never enough. sometimes id like you to know me, but its just a silly thought. in some ways, i envy you. i envy your mind. the way you perceive things, the way you see the world and your unique voice.

i hope you have a nice day, and a great life now that we're at it

This is such a kind message, I am very honored to have received it. Three and a half years is a long time to have been following someone, and you have seen my thoughts grow and change and my skills become more honed (I’m a little embarrassed). I certainly don’t mind that you have printed out my art. You may have noticed that I upload fairly large files... I know it’s strange for an artist to do that, but I want the work to be easily shared and appreciated by those who like it, and especially by those who love Arthur.

As for your envy, I think something you aren’t seeing is that what you observe in me, this person you don’t know, is actually a reflection of yourself and how you might like to be. Rather than placing a pedestal beneath my feet, I gently suggest that you take it and place it under your own. Examine what it is that you appreciate about my presence and cultivate it in yourself, as it must already be inside of you for you to value it. You are someone who has worth; just as much worth as me.

Once again, I greatly appreciate this, and I hope your life takes you to wonderful places.

3/6/2023

ada: I’d like to tell you how much I enjoy your work. Not only that, I find a lot of myself in it. I think your interest in the softer aspects of abnormal and creepy characters is exactly how I feel. I love Arthur for the understated, gentle behaviors. It makes me so happy to see someone who has a similar love for him as I do. I feel like the more soft-spoken and unnervingly childlike a character is, the less appreciation they tend to get. Everyone enjoys the oversaturated insanity of the Joker, but not many people take the time to peer into the quieter disturbances of Arthur. I hope this makes sense, and I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your style of writing. I find it almost therapeutic, knowing someone else thinks in a similar way I do.

Thank you so much! I’m very happy to hear that my work can make you feel so positively. I really enjoy knowing that there are others out there who love Arthur. I wrote a lot in response to this, I apologize! But it gave me space to work out some feelings I had on the topic.

I do think I am drawn to “creepiness” because of its potential softness and how that softness mixes with the social expectation of danger. I’m not made uncomfortable by Arthur, I find myself relating to him and feeling sympathetically toward him specifically because of certain mannerisms he has. Lou I am made uncomfortable by at times but that discomfort is unrelated to the vague aura of “creepiness” surrounding his passive state (his stare, his over-politeness, his isolationism).

Arthur is essentially perfect to me. I love his soft voice and his unique mannerisms, I love that he likely smells of smoke and cheap shampoo. I genuinely like the ways that he is “creepy” - things like his social ineptitude, his loneliness (strange how one can become creepy simply due to the fact that they are alone), and his occasional childishness. I often see people call him ugly, which I do not understand as I find him quite beautiful. He’s such a wonderful entity, I’m very happy he has been manifested into the world.

I’m not particularly active in fandom so I can’t give my own perspective on how much attention is given to characters that have a fraught relationship with adulthood. However, from what I have gleaned from conversing with those who aren’t interested in Arthur is that his behavior reminds them of people in their real lives (including themselves) so escapism becomes difficult. But few people know a Joker so it’s easier to melt into the fun of it all. The same issue comes up with Lou - he’s simply too “real” for many to enjoy but I find this aspect of him to be the most enthralling.

Admittedly, I read Arthur very charitably as I’ve been around people like him who are in the process of healing, but I can understand the outlook of someone who has only ever been in the presence of an Arthur at his lowest. I can understand the outlook of someone who sees themselves at their lowest reflected in Arthur and feels disgust (though I think that is an unkind way to view oneself). There can be a lot of gleeful meanness and uncomfortable resentment that comes out of people when discussing him, however. I don’t believe that this is a reflection of anyone’s character as Arthur is fictional, it’s just been enlightening to view the myriad ways sickness and trauma in a story can be interpreted (Arthur’s perceived creepiness cannot be severed from his sickness and trauma, after all).

I feel like I wrote way too much in response to this, but it gave me a lot to think about. Thank you again for the message and for complimenting my writing, I deeply appreciate it!

2/25/2023

Cogitoergosum: This is probably gonna me be just rambling so you can ignore it if you feel uncomfortable, but i need to express my emotions towards you and what your art makes me feel.

Every now and then i find people on the internet that are fascinating and marvelous, their mind works in such amazing ways that fascinates me, you are one of these people. Your art makes me feel alive, sometimes i think i am just existing, not living, my life is boring and i lack emotions, i rarely feel something, i imitate the people around me and regulate my emotions to them, because of this i don’t know what to express when people around me aren’t showing their feelings or when a group of people in a room aren’t showing equal emotions, i feel this desperate need to participate and to be accepted.

But your art makes me feel things, your word and writings give a feel of what having a soul is like, of what feeling like a human and behaving like a human should be, i can emerge myself in your writing and finally be human again, finally exist and function normally, not like a machine that just replicates and regulates their emotions based on the situation, your art makes me human and gives me passion. Watching your art makes me question what i am doing with mine, i notice that i lack meaning in my art, people draw funny things to make others laugh, people draw beautiful things to be admired and others draw grotesque things to be feared, even drawing something because it’s cool is valid, because people put their sentiment in it, however, the things i draw lack tact, i just replicate what others find pretty in a pitiful effort to get attention from them, i thought art was the only thing i was good at, something that i could succeed and be better than others, but i noticed that i am doing with art what i’ve been doing all my life with everything, just replicating and copying other people.

To resume, your art makes me feel alive, normal and human.

(this text probably has bad grammar so i ask that u ignore plz)

This was such a wonderful message to receive, I returned to it often over the past few weeks. I am deeply grateful you took the time to write this all out and send it to me. It’s very brave to be so vulnerable and honest.

You are quite down on yourself, which makes me sad to hear… learning how to make art is a lifelong process, particularly learning what you want to say and how you want to say it (finding your voice). I think voice is often ignored in favor of things like technique - saying something is a frequently overlooked skill, and many see it as secondary to technique. But this is not true, it requires as much practice and is just as important as the physical act of creating. Perhaps if you view things this way you will feel more confident. It is not that you are bad, it is that you have a skill that needs honing (and this is one of those skills that never reaches an endpoint, as we all wish to say different things throughout our lives).

Copying and replicating is also not inherently bad, it is something that many artists do when finding their footing. When we’re learning to do anything we first copy what those who came before us have done. Please don’t think poorly of yourself for going through stages that are very natural and beneficial!

I hope that this was in some way helpful to you, I wanted to give something back in return for the kind words. I’m very happy to know that you are out there making work. Have a good day!

2/25/2023

Tasso: Ugh hey it's very late and i can't sleep. If you use spotify do you have a playlist for Artur? I'm curious of what music you listen to.

I'm starting to figure out what your art makes me feel, and i think it speaks to me about isolation? Like not being able to connect with other people bcs it's scary plus you have forgotten how. This is obviously me projecting, i still don't understand why tho it awakens these feeling in me. It's not so much the characters because i'm not very attached to them, meh idk i'm exhausted i just wanted to ask your spotify name if you use it.

Thank you for the small comfort you bring to me, i hope you had a good day

I’m sorry to hear that you were having such difficulty sleeping! Thank you very much for telling me how my work makes you feel… I do strive to depict things like isolation and desperation, so this is very validating to hear. I always appreciate learning what people glean, it’s very special to be told about one’s experience with art.

As for the music, unfortunately my response would have been as lacking back when you first sent this as it will be now: I do not listen to much music. I prefer podcasts, audiobooks, television shows, and films for the listening sense. Therefore, I do not have any playlists created for any of the characters I like… it seems like a fun pastime, though! I can understand why it is enjoyable.

I hope things are looking up for you now, and thank you again!

2/25/2023

Fellow anon: Been a fan of your art for a while now on your other accounts and just found this one! I would like to ask some questions if you dont mind asking ^^. What is your relationship with Arthur(and Lou recently it seems, hope i spelled it right!)? Is it more of a love/devotiom for a character and wanting to create more with them, or something like a delusional attachment(something akin to alters/DID, or just strongly believing you are them)? I have introject based delusional attachements towards other characters, and wanted to know if it was the same case with you? Thanks and take care :]

Thank you very much!

My own behavior stems from a complete devotion to the characters, I do not feel as if I am them. My enjoyment seems to involve the character being severed from me to a certain degree. What I feel is a strong connection similar to love. I project heavily, but Arthur and Lou are distinct forces that are their own.

While this may be pathological, I don’t particularly want to pathologize it. I simply don’t see the need. It predates the onset of psychotic symptoms by many, many years so it is not necessarily connected to delusion (though delusion can sometimes play a part). Devotional attachment to fictional characters is something I’ve naturally gravitated toward for a long time, it is a part of me.

I hope this answers your question!

2/25/2023

veroniv: In your last two pieces of Joker, you personify him as a wolf. While it could be purely for aesthetic reasons, I’m interested to know if that’s meant to symbolize anything about his character! I love hearing your thoughts!

It is in reference to Joker’s line about “going werewolf”! To be honest, though, I sometimes just enter periods where I have a desperate urge to draw animals. I have drawn both Arthur and Joker as cats, Joker as a snake, and Lou as a coyote and a worm. It’s driven by an unquenchable thirst for intense and weird shapes. I can’t say that I put as much thought into these pieces as I do into other things (beyond determining which animal a character might be), but drawing for the simple joy of it is still worthwhile so I share what I’ve done.

2/25/2023

cogito: Hello, first time here! Observing your art and the characters that you seem interested, i had to ask, did you ever watched Creep(2014)? I feel like Josef would peak your interest, not trying to make assumptions about you. Thank you for reading.

I have seen Creep and I did enjoy it! It’s been many years since I have seen it, however, and I don’t think I can currently delve into a solid analysis. I remember wishing there was more nuance to Josef’s character, that he was more sympathetic, that maybe he was actually telling the truth. But as it is it is an entertaining piece of horror.

I will always enjoy a character who is categorized as “creepy”, I like to see how they are constructed. I’m fascinated by the social construction of creepiness and I tend to feel drawn toward perceived “creeps”, people whose behavior does not quite follow the socially normative line. Something I find interesting is that, very often, creepiness revolves around soft behaviors - politeness, childishness, enthusiasm (very clear in the case of Josef). It's interesting how these non-threatening mannerisms can become viewed as threatening when displayed in a socially inappropriate situation.

I know this has nothing at all to do with the question posed, but it is tangential and I think about it often.

Thank you for the question and the recommendation!

2/25/2023

confetti: DWhat are your thoughts on the teaser image that was posted for Joker Folie à duex? I was so excited to see Arthur again! It’s been a while :o}!! He does look very run down and gloomy…more than before.

[This is in reference to the first released image, in which Arthur is being shaved by an Arkham employee.]

There are certainly aspects of it that I liked, such as the cigarette burns on his shoulders and the tilt of his chin, but it really did nothing to alleviate my aforementioned disinterest in the film. As I’ve said before, Arthur is my primary interest and, in my opinion, he is gone and has been replaced by Joker, who I simply do not find as engaging (similarly to how I like pre-success Lou more than his final form and would not be all that interested in a Nightcrawler sequel). I must stress that I am not making qualitative statements about the film itself and I am excited for everyone who is looking forward to it. I know Joker is many people’s primary interest and they’re greatly anticipating seeing him in his own film.

Things could change in the time between now and the release and my interest may become piqued eventually. Either way, I will still make work about Arthur and The Man With The Painted Face, I have no intention of packing up and leaving! But things may feel odd as I continue to make work concerning the first film while everyone else has moved on.

2/25/2023

ZBOss: Do u think it’s unhealthy how much your life spends around these characters? Or is some of it beneficial? Like coping n more.

No, I do not feel as if my interest in these characters is unhealthy. I’m not preventing myself from engaging with other things, I feel no possessiveness that leads to combative behavior, and I find the explorations I make to be worthwhile. Sharing art also places me in a communal space, which is a positive thing. It may seem unhealthy to someone whose only view of me is through this dedicated outlet (who among us would seem “healthy” if only a single aspect of ourselves was viewed?), but this is only a small portion of what I do day to day. And while this could all be seen as a way for me to “cope” with certain parts of life, I’m not interested in assigning that reasoning to the habit. Doing so places a negative slant on the behavior that I’m not very fond of.

When we see a behavior that is strange it is easy to assign negative labels to it because behaving in a socially abnormal way is seen as negative by default. But the vast majority of social strangeness is completely benign.

This is how I view my own behavior and if you participate in similar behavior but feel as if it is impacting your life, I’d take that as a sign that something needs to change. I’d listen to your own mind rather than taking my word for it. But if your worries circle around how you may seem strange or odd, I would ask yourself how bad that really is and whether or not constricting yourself to fit a perceived normalcy will improve your mood more than learning to allow yourself free expression.

2/25/2023

ZBOss: Where do u put your marbles? Do u have a storage for them? Or are they just pictures somewhere? Idk just curious. (And if u do have them where did you get them? It’s so interested that u find these unique marbles.)

I own my marbles! I collect primarily vintage machine-made marbles, but have since branched out into modern handmades. The vast majority of my marbles come from eBay. If you are interested in collecting marbles, I first recommend you familiarize yourself with the companies that made them (here is a good guide with images). First time marble collectors may find Jabos or D.A.S.s a good place to start - they are fairly cheap and quite beautiful.

I keep most of my marbles individually wrapped in a foam-lined box under my bed. I also have a few marble sets that have their own special box. There are also marbles like Arthur and Lou who I keep near me at all times (I enjoy the feeling of rolling a marble in my palm and touching it to my lips). One day I will get a nice display case for my marbles, but for now I’m happy to be able to code and design a space for them here on my site.

11/7/2022

centipedes: i keep vividly imagining a cold marble rolled up and down my neck, and the hands that come along with it. i can't stop thinking about it and it made me think of you.

i feel very viscerally understood when i see your work, which i know doesn't make a lot of sense because i am only the viewer and you dont know anything about me. but i hope this makes sense to you and i hope this isnt creepy.

This is not creepy at all! I enjoy hearing about these things… tactile fantasies, fantasies in general. The way everyone person's brain makes them want, sometimes to a degree that is impossible to manage.

Tactility is so important, a deep craving can take up so much brainspace. You can sit and ruminate and yearn for hours when it comes to sensation-seeking. Especially if the desired sensation is impossible to achieve. Losing days to an obsession.

Interestingly enough, I often place a marble in the freezer for a short time and then rub it along my neck and lips until it becomes warm. The brutality of the temperature absorbs all focus, so it's a simple solution if you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you'd like to try this yourself, you may want to find the perfect marble… Feeling a kinship with the marble is very soothing.

Thank you for telling me how you feel about my work, I appreciate it immensely. I may have said this before, but I believe that once I share the work it belongs partially to the viewer. What you experience when you look at it is your own. To me, sharing art is sort of like holding up a mirror. I own the mirror and I know what I see when I look into it, but I can't possibly know what anyone else sees. Not exactly. That is why it is a gift to have someone attempt to describe what they see to you.

Thank you for your message!

11/5/2022

panda: have you ever watched the movie taxi driver? the protagonist in the movie, travis bickle, and arthur are very alike, and so are the two movies! just wondering cuz i see youre a fan of the movie nightcrawler, also i LOVE the fact that you made lou trans, hope u have a great day!!

Yes, I have seen Taxi Driver! I used to watch it repeatedly years ago, when I was a teen. I don't particularly like revisiting things from that time in my life (which is why I do not discuss The Dark Knight Joker despite him having awakened many of my tastes and interests). Travis is a great character and one I can understand and relate to more deeply now as an adult. Arthur Fleck, Louis Bloom, Travis Bickle, Freddie Quell... it is painfully obvious I have a "type".

And thank you for your interest in trans Lou! I do not really discuss it, so I’m always surprised when people notice. I rarely have solid trans headcanons (as in I will switch between cis and trans depending on mood), but Lou is an exception. I simply feel it adds interest to his character. Atypical trans narratives are something I feel drawn to, particularly narratives in which gender is not the catalyst for transition. Maleness was never Lou's goal, but rather the accepted social outcome of the changes he wanted to make to his body. I don't believe he would identify as transgender (outside of a medical capacity, perhaps) because that is a form of social categorization, which he eschews. But for the purposes of labeling the work I make, trans is fine.

Thank you for your message and have a great day yourself! :)

10/04/2022

Lorem Ipsum: Congratulations on three years since you drew Arthur! Please keep making good artwork!

Thank you! Let's celebrate the man who made it all possible:

9/13/2022

Frootloops: What was Lou's first impression of Arthur? What was his impression of him after a while of knowing him? You can also answer this vice versa if you want, I'm very interested in your interpretation of this ship

A shipping question! I'm so excited that I get to talk about shipping.

I've been meaning to sit down and actually write out their AU so it has an accessible place on the site, but that hasn't happened yet. I've been in drawing mode for what feels like months. Both the mindscape and the time for serious writing is nonexistent. But here it is, in barebones form:

Arthur kills himself on the Murray Franklin show in 1981. His death is filmed and broadcasted, but is slowly wiped from public memory. Two decades later, while browsing some obscure forum, Lou finds the footage of Arthur's suicide and becomes obsessed with it, and obsessed with Arthur - his life, his death, everything about him. He finds scans of police xeroxes of his journal, the autopsy report, crime scene photos. He pours over fluorescent-lit pictures of Arthur's body stripped of his suit, of his face cleaned of paint, of the bullet hole in his skull. Lou develops a voyeuristic connection to this man he has only seen in death.

The intensity of his obsession feeds reality until Arthur begins to regrow within his coffin. Skin re-wraps around muscle and muscle clutches bone. His hollow chest refills with organs. Lou isn't aware of this when he drives across the country to visit his grave, to bring back something he can own. So when he pulls open the lid of Arthur's coffin with dirt-covered hands he's surprised to find a living man inside. Beneath him, Arthur smells Lou's sweat-slicked body before opening his eyes to see him for the first time, outlined against the sky and framed by the crude hole he'd dug.

Lou's surprise wouldn't transform into fear or even confusion. He'd be strangely unquestioning. He'd feel a tingle up and down his spine and a warmth pouring through his brain - the same physical reaction he has when he comes across a grotesque crime scene. His relationship with Arthur would contain elements of his relationships with everyone else who comes into contact with him, but because Arthur is literally constructed from his own thoughts he'd be able to reach a closeness with him that he could never reach with others.

Arthur would be scared, disoriented. At first he'd think he'd woken up in hell. He wouldn't question Lou's existence until much later. For a while all he'd feel is gratitude toward this strange but handsome man taking care of him, almost fawning over him. Once he began to consider Lou's actions and motives he'd be too wrapped up in the elation of being consumed and the intensity of what they share.

While it may seem like an absurd pairing at first, what makes the idea of them being together interesting is Lou's voyeuristic, obsessive nature clashing with Arthur's desire to be seen and known. Being seen and known by Lou would be exhilarating in its intensity, but frightening in its predation. There would be a lot of emotional push and pull, a lot of sickness.

I also like toying with the idea that Arthur is not real, but an intense fantasy of Lou's. This allows me to dig into the idea of existing as a fantasy, something I've always been curious about. An intense fantasy world is also a space where one can safely express vulnerable or socially abnormal feelings... Lou's pathology almost guarantees he has a fantasy life beyond what is normal. Whether Arthur is real or a fantasy is ultimately irrelevant as I don't think I'll ever fully commit. I don't fully commit to the man with the painted face being a fantasy either, in the sense that he is the embodiment of a facet of Arthur that is absolutely real.

What I'd like to explore through the ship are things like the intensity of obsession, the impact of possessiveness, the gravitational pull toward death, the danger of being seen, the desperation of the unloved, and the tenuousness of reality. Sadly, I do not know when I'll have the time to sit down with my half-finished fics…

I know this is probably more than you bargained for when you asked this question but I had to set the backdrop in order to give a proper answer. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to discuss my very niche crossover ship!

9/13/2022

anonymus: Hi! First, huge fan of your work. I’ve been following and been inspired by it for years. Second of all, did you make any of your marbles or are they all collected? If you do make them, how do you do it? I would love to hear about your process. Thanks so much for reading

First: thank you for the kind words! Second: I'm always happy to talk about marbles.

All of my marbles are collected... I would love to make a marble one day! Despite not being a marble maker, I do have some knowledge of the processes through which marbles are made.

There are two very broad categories of marble making: handmade and machine made. There is also a hybrid of the two called hand gathering, where the glass used to make the marble is drawn up by hand with a pontil and manually dripped onto a mechanical roller. Within these categories you can further break things down. A handmade marble could be made of glass and have a lattice core, or it could be made of clay, agate, gutta percha, or any number of materials. A machine made marble could be a cat's eye with an injected core, a corkscrew with veins of opaque glass, or have any number of patterns and colors. A majority of the marbles I collect are machine made, but some are handmade, and it's fairly easy to tell the difference. Handmade marbles tend to be pricier, but they're also much more intricate.

Making glass marbles involves a knowledge of physics and chemistry as well as an artistic sense. Different makeups of glass cool at different temperatures, so for a batch to remain unfractured the different types of glass within the mixture must cool evenly. Marble makers also use certain minerals to achieve unique looks - for example, this specific opaque red is called "oxblood" and is made from melted copper.

If you'd like an in-depth look at the process of making machine made marbles, I recommend this video, and if you're interested in handmade marbles I recommend this video. They're good introduction points to each process.

I hope this answered your question satisfactorily! If you become very interested in marbles I'm open to discussing them with you (if you don't have anyone else in your life to talk marbles with). Just send me an email!

9/13/2022

Meg: Do you associate your loved characters with certain songs—and if so, have you made any playlists for them? 👁 👁

Thank you for your interest! But the disappointing reality is that I do not listen to much music at all. I tend to listen to things like TV shows, films, and audiobooks when I need background noise. I suppose I just prefer the drone of people talking. I've never made a playlist and my spotify account exists so I can listen to a single podcast.

The only song I really associate with Arthur is "Moonlight Mile" by The Rolling Stones. I couldn't even tell you why. I don't particularly think it's something he'd listen to. I associate Joker with the song "Lucky I Got What I Want" by Jungle, but that could be because I was listening to it repeatedly when the film came out.

I'm sorry, I wish I had interesting lists of music to share!

9/6/2022

ponderer: what are the holes you put in the bottoms of shoes sometimes? idk why i fixate on it so much, it just seems kinda familiar? i remember trying to research about it years ago but i couldn't find much... is it a you-thing or is it a reference?

What an interesting question! I love this.

In my case it comes from the aesthetic of older US cartoons and comics (I think both Disney and Warner Bros. shorts used this design feature on their characters - Goofy being the most notable) combined with my own history with shoes and wearing them until they fall apart. I've owned multiple pairs that I’ve completely worn through the soles of because I walk everywhere.

I include them in Arthur's design for three reasons:

• He walks everywhere
• He would not have the money to immediately buy new shoes when needed
• It is simply cute

I add them to some drawings of Joker as well despite him wearing what are Arthur's good shoes, but in his case it's to play up the cartoonyness of the design. I do not give them to Lou, who would never let his shoes become so worn down.

I'm not certain of the actual history of the design element, but I believe I've seen it in rubber hose era shorts so it's quite old. Wearing shoes that are falling apart has been a signifier of things like poverty or frugality for a long time, and adding a hole to the rarely seen bottom of a shoe is an easy way to pour more story into a design. I don't watch many modern cartoons so I don't know if this design element has fully fallen out of common shorthand. I know that Goofy's Mickey Mouse Shorts design dropped the hole in favor of the sole peeling away from the leather (comparably harder to draw and animate, but much more overt). Maybe modern cartoons simply don't often include the type of character who would have a hole in the sole of their shoe…

This gave me a lot to think about, thank you! I wish I could help out more with the concrete history but it would involve skimming through something like a century of cartooning. I'm sure someone out there has an incredible memory for shoe holes. I never thought I'd wish to be that person, or that I'd wish I could find them. I remember once when I was looking up reference material I found an entire blog dedicated to the history of those iconic red long johns in cartoons and film. Someone, somewhere, must have this for shoe holes, I'm certain.

8/31/2022

Worm: Sorry if this is a weird question, but ive loved your artwork for years. From one Cluster A disorder person to another, your art really speaks to me. I was wondering if you take commissions by any chance? I have character that i think would fit your style so much omg

Thank you! I'm always happy to hear that the art I make has reached someone...

And no, I don't take commissions - not so much because I dislike doing them, I just sincerely don’t have the time right now. Whenever I happen to be free I prefer to make work about subjects of my choice. I'm sorry, but thanks for the interest regardless!

8/31/2022

hiii: what's the deal with the marbles? they ARE really pretty, though i'm curious to know exactly what you find so fascinating about them

I have to admit, when I first read this I felt very accused - I felt like this, genuinely:

I have no idea why that was my initial reaction…

But the catalyst for the interest was me waking up one day and feeling like a marble. As in, my conceptualization of my own body and self was that of a marble - specifically a marble in a very large, empty room. I don't think I can adequately explain this... If you imagine yourself, what enters your mind immediately, what informs your concept of your body and how it moves through the world - for me, it suddenly was a marble. This change in form and identity made me yearn to look at and touch marbles, in the same way humans are interested in looking at and touching other humans.

I once made a list of all the ways marbles are similar to Arthur, which may be the easiest and most condensed way to get across my feelings about marbles as a whole. I’ve uploaded it for you here.

But beyond that, marbles are art! To ask why someone might collect them is like asking why someone would hang a painting in a room. Marble making is an artform that requires highly specialized knowledge and complex machinery. It's not as simple as mixing glass together and shaping it into a sphere. And contemporary glassworkers are doing things with marbles that are unique and innovative (though I tend toward collecting vintage marbles because they're more monetarily accessible).

I hope that answers your question!

8/14/2022

Lorem Ipsum: I can feel satisfied just by watching your works and reading messages here, but I'd say your observations and thoughts about Arthur Fleck are interesting and I love your artworks whether they are cartoony, realistic, or abstract. And I also like Arthur more than Joker. I'm glad to know you cuz many people think Joker is cooler.

Thank you so much! I do think Arthur is cooler than Joker… I can’t even explain why. I’m glad to know there is someone out there who feels the same. Also, I’m happy to hear you like to look at my website!

8/14/2022

from one irl schizo to another: I've been following you for a while and I'd just like to say that I absolutely adore your drawings and writings so much!!♡

I hope this doesn't come across as weird and or off-putting but, your work makes me feel like I'm not alone? As in the sense of liking a character a little too much lol, if that makes sense. Just seeing how invested you are in Arthur feels very reassuring. I don't know how to explain it any further where it would make sense(i hope this wording is coherent). But that aside, I love seeing your art. I especially love the colours in your work, it's so vibrant and tangible. It sometimes feels like I could press my hand to the screen and the colour would rub off onto me. I hope you're having a pleasant day though! Keep up the good work❀

Thank you very much! I understand feeling lonely, but there are many people out there who are like you and I. I’m open about it because I feel that creating and sharing work about the person to whom I’m devoted makes them more real, but I’ve been approached by plenty of people who are quiet about their fixation. I would say that the intensity of someone like me is abnormal, but it’s completely harmless and I’ve found that many people find it more charming than disturbing… Which I’m saying just in case you needed reassurance that it’s okay to share.

And thank you for the kind words about my art! I appreciate you taking the time to send me a message. :)

8/14/2022

amp: I've been following your account since 2019 and your account+work+musings are a huge comfort for me. I've been hesitant to comment or directly interact because I don’t want to be a bother.

I feel like I can deeply relate to your connection/devotion to Arthur. the strong, intense, personal feeling towards a character that goes way beyond just having a favorite relatable character. Deep reverence, a muse. no expectation of purity or being ‘perfect’ and wholesome or whatever. In my eyes, they are perfectly imperfect and feel real to me. It feels cathartic to explore their character, esp if they are mentally ill (and it's similar to your own…)

silly analogy, these characters are like Rubik's cubes to me, you scramble them > solve them > then scramble them again, so many ways to scramble and solve them yet the end product is the same.

I am schizotypal w/ OCD. your works+musings kind of helped me understand my incohesive-incoherent thoughts and ruminations. I've always struggled with translating my thoughts into anything comprehensible outside my head, even more so with anything intimate-vulnerable. I admire how you express intimacy-vulnerability in your works, and how open you are in sharing it.

I am ending this message with the textual equivalent of opening a shaken bottle of soda because I forgot what else I wanted to write, sorry. I have a few characters I find my muse in, some of my creation, some not. the one that's been my ‘favorite’ (i project heavily onto and think about lots), is actually another character from the batman series, the riddler lol (since 2019). funny innit. been feeling a bit euphoric with his recent iteration matching up to my personal interpretation of the character. who is canonically mentally ill w/ OCD and inspired by one of the actor’s roles in another film as an individual with schizoaffective. And hey this is why I finally decided to reach out and thank you for sharing your work and everything.

Wow, since 2019… I appreciate that you’ve stuck around so long! That feels like such a long time, but it really isn’t, is it? It’s only 3 years. (Now I am thinking about everything that has happened in my life in the past 3 years and I am concluding that 3 years is a very long time in which a lot of things can happen)... nevermind. Thank you so much for sticking around!! And I’m not bothered by interactions, please don’t worry about that.

Wholesomeness is both alienating and dehumanizing, I agree. Arthur feels real to me in a way I have to actively work against at times. He feels tangible, alive, but just out of reach, like he lives his life behind a pane of glass. If he were wholesome and perfect, or seeking to achieve that, he would not be of interest to me, someone notoriously unwholesome, imperfect, and content with their status.

Your metaphor is both astute and apt, in my opinion! It’s very sensitive to the fact that a character can feel alive, real… the concept of IC/OOC often hinges on this very static vision of a character, but your conceptualization of the character as a puzzle to be solved and re-solved leaves room for the human element and its unpredictability. Human beings often revert to similar patterns, but we aren’t always able to predict their actions in every situation, even if we are close to them… even if the human being we are trying to predict is ourselves. A Rubik’s cube is still a Rubik’s cube no matter how scrambled it becomes - how smart!

I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type) as well as a few other things. I do personally imagine Arthur as being schizoaffective, but I’m not beholden to any diagnosis. Diagnosis itself is so strange, it’s both important and totally meaningless simultaneously. When I started this body of work my intent was to better understand myself through understanding Arthur and it’s gone so well, almost better than paid therapy. I never anticipated it! I hope you feel similarly about your own focus.

Being vulnerable and expressing intimacy is difficult. It’s a skillset we're often actively discouraged from honing in favor of insincerity and irony, which can leave us feeling emotionally untethered and understimulated. Humans tend to feel better when they have an outlet for their intimate, vulnerable thoughts and feelings, whatever those may be. People like you and I have more barriers to learning these expressions and are more actively dissuaded from practicing the skill because the way we express things tends to go against social norms, but you will find people who appreciate your specific vulnerability if you share it. Which I know is extremely easy to say and not at all easy to put into practice. The ideal combination of vulnerability and boundary assertion is very difficult to achieve, but it’s well worth it to try. I promise!

I was really (and I mean really) into The Dark Knight Joker in 2008, and I remember back then craving more of his backstory and reading fic that delved into his character. I can only imagine what it’s like to jump directly from character obsession into a new iteration of the character that matches up with your views… heaven! I've heard people discuss the new Riddler and I have been exposed to some of the fanwork. It’s interesting that Dano took inspiration for the character from having played a schizoaffective man - I’d love to see whichever film that is and I will look into it. The only Dano film I've seen is There Will Be Blood because I'm a huge Paul Thomas Anderson fan... The Master and Punch-Drunk Love are two of my favorite films (contemplative stories about strange men... predictable).

Thank you so much for your message and the kind words, I really appreciate it! I’m always happy to learn that there are other people out there who feel deeply about fictional people.

7/29/2022

ddd: been following you a long time, and your work just gets more and more perfected throughout the years; so smooth, creamy, a texture akin to peanut butter (hopefully you like the stuff and that comparison isn't an insult). going through your galleries has always been such a tactile experience for me, i just feel like i could scoop a bit of your art up and make some really elegant smears. what influences drew you to your style, and what artistic skills/practices do you think helped you grow into it?

Thank you so much for this! I strive to depict tactility so I'm very pleased that it comes through. I would say that has consistently been my main goal in terms of general impact. And, like most artists, I constantly strive for improvement so its nice to be assured that I have done so over the years.

I spent a lot of the week with this question in the back of my mind and I spoke to other artist friends about their perspectives on their own influences and what advice they'd hand out if given the chance. So this ended up being very involved, but enlightening to answer.

First, I'll do the easy part and list some of what I consider to be direct artistic influences.

Phil Hale is my favorite contemporary artist - if you've never seen his work, please take a look, particularly his recent output. Andrew Wyeth, Tomer Hanuka, Sterling Hundley, Walton Ford, James Jean, Manet's late work, all the old masters famous for their chiaroscuro (your Caravaggios, your Vermeers), classic Dutch anatomy lesson commissions (your Dr. Tulps and Willem van der Meers). Medical illustration and medical photography. Crime scene photography. The southern gothic genre in its entirety, particularly Carson McCullers. Trepanation. Hands. Marbles. Older cartoons and cartooning styles that showcase a high level of draughtsmanship. I've always had a particular interest in 3D animation and I believe it's worth studying even as a solely 2D cartoonist for the unique qualities of its volume.

I also tend to have a "muse," for lack of a better word - a fictional person I feel very attached to and must create work to express my devotion toward. They act like an arrow on a compass, pivoting around to direct my goals.

More indirectly, or maybe more broadly, mental illness informs a large portion of my work. I am not sure if it is the illness itself or if it was the severity of it forcing me to get psychiatric help (which then allowed me to think in a more direct and organized fashion), but I do believe I started coming into myself as an artist when I had the experiences I did while at my sickest, and I still use the thoughts and experiences I have when sick in my work. We all live through life altering events; dissecting them can help us feel out what we want to communicate and how. Living with purpose and creating with purpose go hand in hand.

I think all aspects of life and all kinds of art should inform your work. Engage with many different types of things, as much as you possibly can - anything that catches your focus. This includes the social aspect of living... try not to neglect your interpersonal life in pursuit of better work because you will likely miss out on the exact experiences that will improve it.

Skills and practices are more difficult to carve out. It feels like the advice we're most often given is to simply draw - draw constantly, draw daily, learn fundamentals, do master studies. You should be drawing, yes, and it's always a good idea to learn the fundamentals. But drawing every single day will guarantee you one skill: speed. And speed is useless without proficiency. What you truly need to focus on is what you, personally, are drawn to, what you care about. You should create with purpose, define your taste, and be honest with yourself. Working to develop your voice will help you grow as an artist because technical improvement will naturally fall into place behind it. Like dominoes - what you care about hits what you want to make hits where you need to improve hits what you need to learn, etc, etc, etc.

Part of making good work involves building both the knowledge to know what you want to say and the courage to say it. It is just as difficult to develop these skills as it is to hone your technical accuracy, but they're just as, if not more, important.

I know I'm very meandering so I hope this was helpful, or something close to what you wanted to hear. Thank you again for your question, I learned so much while answering it! Also, the idea that I might hate peanut butter so much that I would be offended to even hear it mentioned in relation to my work made me smile.

7/29/2022

question: do you consider yourself a horror artist?

What a simple, cryptic, and interesting question! It has an easy answer (No, not at all) But how can I make something easy when superfluousness is allowed?

After thinking about it, here are some categories I might ascribe to the body of work shared in this space:

Cartooning informs all aspects of the work, even when it's drawn more realistically or abstractly. I do not consider the title of cartoonist to be belittling or dismissive; I respect the power of cartooning as an artform.

Generally, I find it a struggle to create when I don't feel that erotic tug, and I sense eroticism in the very abstract - in shapes, lines, movement, the implication of feeling. This particular body of work is also extremely devotional, meaning it comes into being purely out of obsessive desire and a yearning for the subject to become tangible and known - which is why I share... it must be seen in order to achieve its purpose.

In both topic and imagery; things disturbing and bizarre.

A McCullers moreso than a Shelley. The past haunting the present, being haunted in general, grim, grounded experiences reframed.

There are definitely horror elements involved, but ultimately my intent is not to horrify. Often, I’m trying to depict a specific valley into which we are drawn - the comfort of illness, the familiarity of trauma. A valley is simple to walk downhill into, and it is, of course, much more difficult to climb up and out of... like a pitcher plant. When writing I often use alluring language and in visual art I work with appealing colors, fluid lines, and organic shapes - these are conscious choices. I'm not sure how successful I am and I’m always striving to improve, but that is the thought process.

However, the engagement of the individual observer is also important. Do you consider the work to be horror? If so, you are allowed your interpretation. It may not be my intention, but assuming you've approached the work thoughtfully and with good intent, what you see and feel is yours to hold.

I think that once I release work into the world it is partially the property of those who view it. I cannot hope to have control over anyone's feelings or interpretations, nor would I ever want to. It's a good idea to take into consideration the intent of the artist, and it's polite not to approach someone as if you know more about their work than they do themselves. However, here I am, partially (sometimes fully) discounting the intent of the artists behind the works I'm deriving from... everyone should be allowed to engage so freely.

7/3/2022

Anon: When I first found your account I honestly found you kind of intimidating from how intimate and personal your posts are. As times gone on its been really nice seeing so many sides to you, especially how kindly you respond to messages and how vulnerable you can be in your writing. Please keep up the good work, you are my biggest artistic inspiration.

Thank you so much! I've been told I seem intimidating by a few people, but I'm not trying to be! Which isn't to say that I'm insulted, I understand the reasons for this. I try to be mindfully respectful and considerate even if I may not always seem warm or welcoming.

I really appreciate you letting me know what I make is meaningful to you. I want to make work that is sincere and I've learned that to do so one has to be vulnerable, which is frightening! You can't hope to please everyone, but you can hope that you make some type of positive impact somewhere, and it's very special to be told you have done so. It takes a lot of courage to admit to an artist how you feel, I think.

Thank you again!

7/3/2022

Meg: Hi again! Sorry to clog up your submission box, but I have so much to say, lol… it’s totally true that our readings and creations aren’t at all in danger of being harmed by new “canon” material. Your characterization of Arthur and TMWTPF as separate people is executed incredibly well in your work, and I love absorbing your take on them through your art. Personally, like you prefer Arthur, I think I prefer Joker—instead of two entities that exist at the same time, it’s the transformation from one to the other (with the first form “dying” in the process) that really interests me. That’s probably why I feel like there’s a lot at stake in the sequel! To me, Joker feels white-hot with energy, like he’s molten metal that hasn’t solidified yet. I’m very excited to watch this new form exist for a full two hours… and SINGING… HOO BOY

I probably WOULD say that Joker is my favorite movie?? Though it’s definitely not a great movie objectively… I can’t separate my engagement with the possibilities of the character from the quality of the actual film ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, I love your work!! It feels very special when you post—I can really feel the depth of ideas you have on each subject. I haven’t actually watched Nightcrawler before, but I am definitely going to soon, inspired by your stuff on Lou XD

That's okay, the inbox is made to be used! However, it does take time for me to get to things depending on how much is going on in my life. I like to respond to thoughtful messages with thoughtful replies but sometimes thinking isn't easy. You're also welcome to email me! This form has a character limit, so you may not be able to use it to say as much as you want.

I don't believe that Joker is an objectively bad film! I didn't mean to insinuate that. I think it's both good and worthwhile, just not a "favorite". It's exceedingly rare that something I obsess over is a favorite within the context in which it's meant to be viewed. Art can be important to a person in very specific ways... Joker is meaningful to me in a way that transcends its status as a film, but within the context of film I don't consider it as personally relevant. If that makes sense at all.

It is always interesting to me to learn who prefers Arthur and who prefers Joker and how they interpret that relationship. I do find Joker attractive and I also want to see how his character develops! He is particularly molten - I also get the feeling that he would slip through your fingers if you tried to hold him.

Arthur dying is very good. Being fully consumed and ground up into the meat of a new form. And it's the way the story is intended to be viewed - despite not committing suicide on air, Arthur dies regardless. So I've given that path a lot of thought. In the "world" I've built for him, I don't see Arthur as dying exactly, but as being re-skinned. The man with the painted face is Arthur's mental illness and trauma personified, and Joker is Arthur attempting to embody him in human form. It's like Arthur is a sweater and Joker is that sweater turned inside out - he’s showcasing his own warped knit. So, in the same way illness and trauma reactions ebb, flow, and can be contained to a degree, Joker could fade and Arthur could emerge again.

Of course this won't happen in the sequel, Arthur will be dead and the story will likely address this! You're in luck... as is the part of me that ruminates endlessly on death. And Joker will sing, that's true. It's odd, but I think what I'm most excited about regarding that is watching the way his throat thrums. It's always the little things. The details.

This is such a long reply, I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy Nightcrawler if you watch it. Thank you for the kind words as well! I appreciate them so much!

6/21/2022

somebody: your work & musings of arthur and lou deeply inspire me to let me delve into my own ideas of a character i like a bit too much .. i love your art it means a lot to me

I'm so happy to hear this, you have no idea! You’re giving me a lot of credit, but you are the one who has gained the courage to explore and express vulnerability. It is you who has won, who is winning... I hope that this freedom takes you to new places.

6/21/2022

Meg: Hello, Seven_Meds! I just heard about Joker Folie à Deux, and my energy is so high... how do you feel about the prospect of a sequel to Joker? Are you excited to see more of Arthur/Joker, or nervous that the story will go in a direction you don't like? (I feel a mix of both for sure.)

Thank you for asking my opinion! I definitely understand where you're coming from regarding your nervousness. Hopefully this isn't too meandering, I had a lot of disjointed thoughts to collect (and I wanted to wait for the deluge of information coming out to lessen).

I saw Joker largely on a whim. I came across a few stills of Arthur's pantomimed suicide taken from a very poor camrip and felt so connected to the concept that I went to the final screening of the night. Though I've been desperately drawn to different iterations of the Joker throughout the years, my interest in superheroes has waned into absolutely nothing, so I felt as if I wouldn't enjoy it - and I was wrong! Something I particularly value is its encouragement of audience interpretation. I felt inspired to participate and invent, and through that participation and invention I began attempting to express things that I had been fearful of expressing before.

Despite all of this, I can't confidently say that Joker is among my favorite films. Arthur is one of my favorite characters and there are scenes that are among my favorites when taken individually, but as a whole it occupies a very complicated space in my lineup of Most Gnawed Upon works. So I wasn't hoping for a sequel, nor do I believe one is needed, but I also prefer self-contained stories and wide open endings. It's very likely that I would not have yearned for a sequel even if Joker were my favorite film of all time.

The biggest issue I feel I'll contend with is that I prefer Arthur to Joker - I consider them to be two separate people with The Man With The Painted Face being his own adjacent entity. I don't believe Arthur is going to be in the sequel much, if at all... and if Arthur isn't in it, then what is there for me? While I definitely understand the intent of the direction the sequel is taking, my current feelings are that I won't be as engaged with it. Which isn't to say that it won't be a worthwhile film or story, it just may not be something I will actively discuss or make work about. What I currently make tends to focus on Arthur's life in a nebulous period before and during the events of the film, so disengaging from the sequel won't impact my output much.

However, circling back to where we began, I didn't think I'd be interested in Joker and yet here we are nearly three years later! If I told you I could fully predict myself I would be lying.

So it seems like you and I are in the same boat. What's going to happen? I don't know!!! Will I like it? Who can tell??? Ultimately it's only a film and whether we enjoy it or not doesn't have to have any bearing on our feelings about Arthur, Joker, and (most importantly) ourselves. This is the upside of transformative art - Word Of God has only as much impact upon us as we want it to have. The Arthur you hold in your own mind will still be there regardless of how you feel about the sequel!

6/12/2022

Hi: i'm not into (or even really know) what media you talk about on your page, but, i really enjoy the juxtaposition between how serious it all seems / how you talk about and discuss heavy subject matters VS the very clean cartoony art style you often draw in. its a very charming contrast that i understand a lot myself really

Thank you for taking the time to send this, and for the kind words! I've had a very strange week and it gave me something to think about throughout. I feel as if I ran into the weeds with what I’ve written, but I think that is expected of me by now and I hope you can forgive me.

At heart I am a cartoonist, but more and more I sense an expectation placed upon the cartoonist to uplift, when historically this has not been the point of cartooning at all! It's odd, I've met many cartoonists who are very serious, dour people, but the public perception of the cartoonist is something like a clown that has been placed upon the earth to entertain... it's an untenable and inhuman place for an artist. Maybe you've noticed this as well.

Sometimes I go through periods where all I want to do is draw cartoons, times where other methods of working don't afford enough raw power in terms of emotion or strength of pose. Cartooning is its own unique skillset with specific draws; it's a nuanced combination of traditional draftsmanship, emotive abstraction, and design. When I'm cartooning, I have to feel what I'm doing before thinking about it, it's extremely grounding. Cartoons can say and do so much, they are eternally beautiful, complex, and very often accessible.

I'm not sure which direction I wanted to head with this, if any... I think mainly I wanted to offer assurance that the separation of grit and heaviness from cartooning is recent and ahistorical, and that cartoonists are allowed to explore the enormity of humanity to the same degree that other artists do. Loving the artform of cartooning and being drawn to tragedy and drama are not at odds, it's art shaking hands with art. And if you're a fellow morose cartoonist, I hope you keep making work!

(Also, out of every piece of media I discuss, I recommend Nightcrawler if you like a good psychological thriller. I truly think it is a perfect film.)

5/20/2022

Yozeph: I love how slick your art is! What programs do you use to make such accurate lines?

Thank you so much!

I use Photoshop and, for the most part, its default hard round brush with the spacing turned off. I've found that the trick to getting solid, accurate digital lines is to work as fast as possible and slice, rather than carve out, each line you put down. Have the full drawing in view, stay loose, and let lines extend past where they need to go and later erase what you don't need.

Once you get the hang of working this way, lining a single character should take very little time and the look of it will always be an improvement over the initial sketch.

I think the best perspective I've been given on linework is that it is a form of drawing in itself. A good sketch to line has nailed down shape and volume but isn't so over-drawn that lining it is an exercise in tracing.

5/19/2022

Oily Mess: Arthur has a lot of hair... what is his relationship with it? Anything about the texture, smell, weight.....? How goes the act of washing it? Would he have different hair in some way, if he had a choice, or is it an immutable part of him he couldn't think about? Related to bathing, though: any relationship to water, in and of itself? As a thing that cleans, washes, or as a thing that sticks, or as a thing that disturbs, leaks into a house, ruins things, weighs you down? Given that water can wash off/smear paint, have you ever thought of water in relation to TMWTPF? If you poured water over him, would the paint run? The aesthetic of oil-based-paint swirling in water reminds me of some of your marbles. In my mind I can imagine Arthur in a tub filled with oil-paint and water. Drinking it would also be interesting. I'd just love to know any thoughts you could have on any of this!

I consider Arthur’s hair to be an important facet of his identity - this shoulder length look, wavy and smooth… I see him as someone who has this interior craving for androgyny (not so much in the sense of formlessness, but in the sense of being multiple) and having long hair is a part of that.

When I imagine brushing my fingers through his hair it is very thick and fluffy:

But when I imagine myself being trepanned by him, it’s often much oilier, like he has not bathed in a while:

We see his hair in so many different states: wet, combed, slicked back, dirty from lack of care, dyed… the state of his hair reflects the state of his mind in a lot of ways!

At its cleanest, it most likely smells like smoke and dollar store shampoo, and when it’s dirty I imagine the scent of human oil and tobacco mix together into something uniquely sweet and greasy.

More than once we see Arthur in a post-shower state, barely dressed with his hair damp and drying, we see him bathing his mother with his sleeves rolled up and his forearms beaded with bathwater, we also see him soaked after a storm, and there is supposedly a deleted scene where he’s in the bathtub himself - it’s interesting how often he's wet! I think he sometimes sits in a half-full tub and smokes, something about being in a big empty room with the echoing slosh of water mirroring your movements is very comforting. He’s expressed a yearning to see the ocean, so he might close his eyes and rock his body rhythmically, or salt his fingers and lick water off of them like his hand has just passed through a warm ocean wave.

I’ve definitely imagined him in bathwater tinted a dusty purple from the paint running down his body in bright rivulets… I do believe Arthur eats paint - we see him do so in the film, after all. I think he could tell you the color collected on a paintbrush based on the taste of it alone, and I think he would swallow a cupped handful of water if he liked the color of it, or if he liked the look of the lines swirling within it in marbled patterns.

The way TMWTPF interacts physically with Arthur and the world changes situationally, but I do think he almost always smells like paint, and that he feels very “smeared”. In a lot of ways, as he is simply existing, he is sensorily akin to having one's skin painted with many different types of brushes. He might run or smear if water were poured on him, or the water may slick over him as if he were coated in oil, or it may melt chunks of him away as if it were acid - it depends a lot on how Arthur is feeling and what is being shared between them!